"Wake up! Dammit, Luke, WAKE UP!"
Luke jumped outta bed, but couldn't remember a thing. He looked at the person shouting at him.
"Luke, if you don't get dressed in the next two minutes, I'm leaving you!"
The person stormed off and slammed the door shut behind them.
Luke looked around for his clothes, and found them strewn across the floor.
"Eww. A condom." He kicked it to the side. "What the hell happened last night?"
He quickly got dressed and ran downstairs, looking for the person that woke him up. Except, it wasn't a person.
"FUCK!!!! What the hell are you?!" Luke screamed.
He was staring at what looked like a humanoid greenish-blue martian with webbed fingers and super-sized eyes. Instead of hair, it looked like long fingers coming out of its head. There also looked like what appeared to be gills in the arms.
"Luke, stop being silly. We've been together for 6 months! Now let's go, before the coppers get here."
"Wait wait wait, we're dating? Since whaaaa?!"
"Dammit, look, why did you bring those druggy's here. We gotta go! C'mon!"
The creature rushed Luke into the super-sonic motorship. It was the size of a large car, but somewhat shaped like a cross between a submarine and a rocket. It was black with a long yellow stripe on the side. There also appeared to be machine gun turrets on the sides.
"Get in!" the creature yelled.
As Luke buckled into his seat, the creature revved up the engine. As they sped away into the sky, Luke saw some strange floating vehicles with blue lights flooding the house that they just left.
"What even... Where am I?"
"We are leaving this planet. It's not safe. Too many bounty hunters here and Galactic Troopers."
"Wait, planet? Leaving? Galatic Troopers?"
"Luke, what the hell is wrong with you? You act like you don't remember anything."
"Honestly, last thing I remember is going to sleep in my bed in Kentucky."
"Kentucky? What's that?"
Luke didn't really hear the last question. He stared out the window, confused. As they flew away from the orange-golden planet and purple waters, he turned to the creature.
"What's your name?"
The creature laughed, and then looked at Luke with concern.
"You seriously don't remember anything do you?"
"No."
"Those drugs... they were a bad idea."
Luke looked away. After a second, he turned back to the creature.
"So.... what IS your name?"
"It's Pixiel."
"And that planet that we just left? What planet was that?
"That was planet was Ek-Glados. We should never have gone there."
"Wait so, how far are we from Earth?"
"EARTH!?"
"Yeah, how far are we from there?"
Pixiel looked at Luke like he was crazy.
"Luke... there is no Earth. It's a distant legend. Some scientists wonder if there ever was such a thing as Earth. If there was, it blew up and was swallowed by a black hole over a million years ago."
"NO! That's not possible!"
"Stop being silly, you're starting to scare me."
"Fuuu! Hold on Luke, we got company! Galactic Troopers!" Pixiel furiously began punching buttons on the control panel. There were 6 space-ships hauling ass towards them.
"System, Arm!"
"Oh no. Are they gonna shoot us?!"
"Not if we shoot them first," shouted Pixiel. "System, initiate fire!"
The motorship began to fire white lasers and blue balls at the Galactic ships. 3 of them immediately shrunk and disappeared, without leaving any trace of explosion. The other 3 ships began to elongate themselves as they prepared to attack and fire.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Luke. "They're getting bigger!"
"That means they are about to fire away! Hold on, this could get nasty!"
After expanding in a matter of seconds, the 3 ships hurled their white lasers. These lasers, however, exploded all around the motorship as Pixiel tried to dodge their attack.
"System, engage defense mechanisms!"
The motorship began to shoot out a bunch of sparklers around the ship, in an effort confuse the enemy lasers.
"System, FIRE!!!
The motorship fired a cannon-load of ammunition, releasing a flood of white lasers and blue balls toward the enemy. Two of the ships immediately retracted and disappeared.
"YES! Two of them down, 1 more to go. That should be easy. System, engage warp-speed."
"What're you doing," asked Luke."
"We're going into that asteroid mine-field ahead."
The motor-ship sped ahead as the Galactic ship followed closely behind. Pixiel furiously worked her ship up and down and through the asteroid field, as the elongated Galactic ship kept up behind, all the while trying to shoot them down.
"Hold on, I got a trick up my sleeve," Pixiel shouted.
As they came around a particularly large asteroid, Pixiel let loose a bunch of the sparklers and white smoke. Immediately, she spun the ship around the asteroid, and turned on her landing gear. The ship immediately attached itself the asteroid on the far side away from the Galactic ship. As soon as the Galactic ship passed the asteroid, Pixiel revved up her engines, and was now in pursuit of the Galactic ship.
"Haha! Yes! It worked! Now look who's behind who!"
Luke cracked a smile, "The hunted becomes the hunter. Nice work Pixiel. Let's blow that Galactic ass up."
"System, engage fire!"
The motorship shot off a bunch more of the white lasers and blue balls. This time, however, the Galactic ship blew up into a billion smithereens.
"Damn. Look at that explosion," exclaimed Luke.
Luke turned to Pixiel. "Pix, I need to get my memory back. Can you help me? Last thing I remember is living on Earth."
"I'm already taking you to get your memory back. But first..."
Pixiel smoothed her hair, and began undressing.
"Whoa, wait, what're you doing."
"We still have unfinished business Luke... After your horrible performance last night, you owe me one!" Pixiel dropped her last piece of clothing.
Luke stared at Pixiel's naked body. But it was just so alien. Blue, greenish, and leathery.
Luke simply stated, "I'm not interested right now."
Pixiel looked at him oddly, and confused. "That's a first," she muttered. "Well then, I have no choice."
Pixiel jumped at Luke, and bit him in the neck. Luke's body went comatose, but he was still fully aware of what was going on. He simply had no more control over his body. Pixiel began to furiously rip his clothes off and dug into his privates. Her fingery hair began to do their dirty work on him. It was both pleasurable and frightening at the same time.
+++
As he began climax, Theo woke up in a cold sweat! Back in Kentucky, in his bed, Theo began to realize that he had been dreaming.
"Crap!"
"Honey, what is it?" Theo's new wife rolled over and asked.
"Dammit, sorry honey." Theo got outta bed and walked to the bathroom. "Just a really, really, really, weird dream. A wet dream," Theo muttered quietly to himself, as he began to clean up.
"Honey, I love you." Theo's wife smiled mischievously. As Theo was in the bathroom, his wife quietly hid the roofies in her drawer.
+The End+
Hope you enjoyed that.
Game of Choice: Terraria
Thank you!
Tom Scott