Episode One Racer (N64)

[Wooty]

Ahh... Star Wars - Episode 1 Racer... /me runs to throw up out the window.

I've decided to take a step back today and confront this beast we all knew as children. Many of us poured long hours into Episode 1 Racer. And trust me, if you didn't, then consider yourself extremely lucky. I personally beat the game twice as a kid, but only because it was the only multiplayer game I had at the time for my poor Nintendo 64. So.... let's just get this review over with - please?

Pros

• Branded with the Star Wars name
• Upgradable components for your pod racer
• Play as many notable star wars pod-racing stars
• Intense fast-paced action
• Tons of maps

Cons

• Terrible, terrible graphics (even in the N64 age)
• Bad Controls! (C-buttons to rotate? Hold Up while steering to boost?)
• Repetition
• Un-lovable characters and voice acting (Anakin: "NOOOoooOOoOOOooooOO!")
• Ridiculous course design causing you to crash every 1 second
• AI that is virtually impossible to beat at higher levels

Final Score: 4/10

So, what exactly am I trying to say here? Episode One Racer was such a terrible game, that it's still imprinted on my mind ten years later. In an age when much better alternatives existed, it makes me sad to think that so much of my life was spent on a movie game. Viva la Mario Kart!

 

[bigheadzach]

To be fair:
* The PC version had decent graphics (and I bet I could still run it today).
* Using keyboard greatly reduces controller frustration (WASD and arrows ftw)
* Repetition: What do you think NASCAR is?
* Don't play as Anakin. He's a whiny bitch who let Padme Naberrie end the Republic. Yeah, it's her fault. I have written essays. (Or, just turn off player sounds.)
* Sounds like the N64 controller was...imprecise.
* Sounds like the N64 controller was...imprecise.

I think I still have it lying around. I'll be doing a few laps for nostalgia purposes.

 

[Wooty]

Pshaw! I challenge you to an episode 1 racer du-du-du-du-du-DUAL!