Everybody has a fucked up matter in their life, and nothing is easy. Who said it was going to be? Well, my life is fucked up in a way that is far different from yours. My father was a good man, rough history, but a good dad to me and I was lucky to have him, but he was taken from me. Granted, in my belief, he was taken by God, he was taken. So I lost what was dearest to me. In your case, you were never given it. Which makes me deeply sorry you have to deal with that, and by all means if you ever need to talk to me, I've been at those deep points. I've hurt myself over things. Remember this: You have a lot to live for. You were given a good brain, and you're smart. That in and of itself will open doors for you, you just gotta get to them. If you want my cell number, where I prefer the most personal of conversations, message me privately on here. Like previously mentioned, this is one big dysfunctional family and your my dysfunctional brother. It goes both ways, too. Myself, and nearly everyone on here will be here for you. Stay strong buddy. As for the proof, re-read Casey's comment. He's a smart guy with some good advice.