Any writers here at Team 9000?

drsheep

drsheep

Well-Known Member
Be it shortstories, screenplays, or even fanfiction for fuck's sake, if you're a writer or aspire to be one, I wanna know.

Yeaaah, I'll count journalism >_>
 
Yes, I do write things.
From the odd serious contest entry to the vaguely creepy erotic TF2 fanfiction.
 
Vorsprung said:
Yes, I do write things.
From the odd serious contest entry to the vaguely creepy erotic TF2 fanfiction.
Click to expand...
monetize, bro, publish dat shit

remove any trademarked names, replace the dominant lover's name with a color, and name the book after that character

99221;encoding=jpg;size=300;fallback=defaultImage


I mean, when it comes down to it, everything really is all about the name! That's what we in the business call branding!

Look at these dickshit products
http://goo.gl/xd3Cq
http://goo.gl/yPT8k

I'm gonna let you in on an industry secret, buddy. This is consulting material and for anyone else it don't come cheap but you can have it for FREE.

Both these products? They're butter. I know, crazy, but wanna know why you have an overcoming sexual lust for the second one? THE BRANDING.

For instance, what do we know about the first butter brand? EVERYTHING. You aren't interested in this butter! You wouldn't even toy with it for a few weeks, get it to muster up the courage to ask you out, and tell it you were GAY!

But the SECOND butter? This is where shit gets real, where the purchase becomes a moral decision, a gamble where the stakes are butter and lifelong embitterment. WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS BUTTER, and actually, if you know anything about Schro McDinger you'd know about his enjoyment of murdering cats but not really! This becomes a METAPHOR, a comparison between Mr. McDinger's work and Butter through the design alone, and you're left wondering if there's even a dead cat in that butter or not!

So basically, sell your novel as "Sex Gang: Two Fast Two Furious?"
 
Yeah, I'm being flippant, but I really do want to know more about the writers on this website. Really, I do.

Doesn't mean I won't make a joke post here or there :p
 
I tried writing something, but I never picked it back up. I love to write, given I have written one thing EVER, but high school english was a blast, and for some reason I didn't take any finals because people loved my writing so much.

tl;dr I love writing, but haven't done it nearly as much as I want to, nor did I finish the one thing I wrote in my free time.
 
I love writing and consider myself fairly good at it. However, I lack motivation to write much on my own. That's why I always take the opportunity to have fun with english assignments.
 
uh, i was/still am writin a story, i started it back in december, and i havent went back to it :/ ill get back to it soon though
 
bbgunshot said:
I love writing and consider myself fairly good at it. However, I lack motivation to write much on my own. That's why I always take the opportunity to have fun with english assignments.
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Motivation always catches me up, so I'll help you out with a list of ways you can motivate yourself!

Wikipedia describes motivation as a "feature that arouses an organism to action", so what you need to do is arouse yourself to write!

Now you may be asking, "Boy, Howdy, Doc! How does a cattle rustler like maself find pure, unadulterated sexual arousal from writing? That's a bourgeois luxury us laborin' folk lack!"

Listen well, Cowboy, because I will show you the 3 steps to COMPLETE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION through the glory of writing!

Step one: Offer an enticement for writing
Keep a tally of each page you complete, and remember to treat yourself to a professional, sexual technician every forty!

Step two: Impose immediate necessity to write
Pay the professional, sexual technician to physically aggress you until your book is done, remember: the SAFE WORD is "IT'S FINISHED!"

Step three: Assess tasks for your writing
It's always important to understand your task, and sometimes this can help your monumental achievements seem much less so! For example, think about these things: how much do I owe this hooker, how will I explain these broken ribs to my doctor, and where is this blood coming from?

Hopefully now you are one step closer to writing your magnum opus; I say hopefully because you'll need to sell this book for a shit ton to pay off that crazy Russian pimp, he seriously means to bust your kneecaps.

tumblr_liiezbT4TC1qbvn02.gif
 
drsheep said:
Motivation always catches me up, so I'll help you out with a list of ways you can motivate yourself!

Wikipedia describes motivation as a "feature that arouses an organism to action", so what you need to do is arouse yourself to write!

Now you may be asking, "Boy, Howdy, Doc! How does a cattle rustler like maself find pure, unadulterated sexual arousal from writing? That's a bourgeois luxury us laborin' folk lack!"

Listen well, Cowboy, because I will show you the 3 steps to COMPLETE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION through the glory of writing!

Step one: Offer an enticement for writing
Keep a tally of each page you complete, and remember to treat yourself to a professional, sexual technician every forty!

Step two: Impose immediate necessity to write
Pay the professional, sexual technician to physically aggress you until your book is done, remember: the SAFE WORD is "IT'S FINISHED!"

Step three: Assess tasks for your writing
It's always important to understand your task, and sometimes this can help your monumental achievements seem much less so! For example, think about these things: how much do I owe this hooker, how will I explain these broken ribs to my doctor, and where is this blood coming from?

Hopefully now you are one step closer to writing your magnum opus; I say hopefully because you'll need to sell this book for a shit ton to pay off that crazy Russian pimp, he seriously means to bust your kneecaps.

tumblr_liiezbT4TC1qbvn02.gif
Click to expand...

I am wholly enlightened my good sir.
 
I was more heavy into poems and fanfiction in high school. That petered out when I was in tech school. About half way through my tech school experience I realized how stupid I was. I should have went to school for English and I whole heartily will do it some day when I can afford to. The most fun I had in school was in my English classes. I was actually told once by one of my English teachers that I was writing to much for a project. Everyone had a limit of 600 words. She had to extend my limit to over 1000. I mostly stick to short stories and things within a 100 page limit. I had an online friend once try to get me to write a screen play. It was utter crap, but a fun and silly experience. I think I lost it when my laptop died. I tend to do hand written stuff with some typed on the computer. I like handwritten a bit more then computer because I can take one of my composition books and a pen everywhere with me.
 
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