Squeebz
Well-Known Member
I am laying in a pile of my clean laundry rolling around like I am in a damn Gain commercial when my eyes trail up to the corner of the ceiling above me.....And I proceed to gasp for breath as there is a ginormous Grass Spider camped out happily just watching me....Almost plotting. Don't ask me what the little bastard was doing on my ceiling instead of in the grass where he belongs, because honestly I couldn't tell you I just wanted him DEAD. So as I am stupidly wasting time by laying there attempting to overcome my phobia to run for the bug spray (I might has well have been a evil villain monolouging whilst the hero makes his escape or attempts to obliterate me) the damn thing senses that I am onto him and INSTEAD of making his escape, he decides it is in his best interest to attack, running down the wall towards me; of all the corners of the room he has to run AT ME!
After it taking a nano second to realize his intention I somehow manage to clear out of the room in a record time, bounding over two other piles of dirty laundry and skidding to a stop in the hallway just outside of the newest abode of my little friend. Out of breath I go into the kitchen to formulate my attack plan and to get the insect spray. On top of the insect spray I have dawned a Level B Hazmat suit not to protect myself from the chemical arsenal I was about to unleash on this little demon, but to protect myself from being assaulted by the little eight legs of doom. I would rather sprout random limbs than have that thing crawl on me.
Upon entering the hallway outside of my bedroom I opened the door slowly to see where he has stationed himself, low and behold he is on my wedding photo and has taken rest almost on purpose on top of my face. Okay, it was starting to get personal. Not wanting to risk ruining the portrait I had to formulate another plan to coax him off of the photo without really getting to close. So I grabbed a broom from the hall closet and I slowly started into the room with my prod fully extended, I began to poke him slowly upwards and he responded by gripping the glass with the strength of ten men so I being the impatient one, started to insist a little harder that he move. He then decided that I was close enough and attached himself to the handle and began his rather quick decent down the makeshift bridge toward me AGAIN.
I threw the broom down and jumped up on the bed watching him take shelter under a pile of my dirty laundry. I jumped down next to the door and exited the room to grab the fire poker I came in hot with the bug spray and the poker focused and ready for battle, I wasn't going to let this little butt-hole take over my room, it was getting dark and I was NOT going to sleep with him lurking somewhere plotting his inevitable revenge. I scattered the clothes around as he leaped from the pile towards me in his fighting stance, I parried with the poker and he scurried to the left, as he was in my sight I proceeded to drench him and the surrounding area in a thick white snow of poisonous critter getter foam.
I have to say, he fought valiantly. He probably deserved a more proper burial than a flush down the porcelain throne but I despise those eight-legged creatures and I shall show no mercy to any of their kind. For now, I sleep silently.
After it taking a nano second to realize his intention I somehow manage to clear out of the room in a record time, bounding over two other piles of dirty laundry and skidding to a stop in the hallway just outside of the newest abode of my little friend. Out of breath I go into the kitchen to formulate my attack plan and to get the insect spray. On top of the insect spray I have dawned a Level B Hazmat suit not to protect myself from the chemical arsenal I was about to unleash on this little demon, but to protect myself from being assaulted by the little eight legs of doom. I would rather sprout random limbs than have that thing crawl on me.
Upon entering the hallway outside of my bedroom I opened the door slowly to see where he has stationed himself, low and behold he is on my wedding photo and has taken rest almost on purpose on top of my face. Okay, it was starting to get personal. Not wanting to risk ruining the portrait I had to formulate another plan to coax him off of the photo without really getting to close. So I grabbed a broom from the hall closet and I slowly started into the room with my prod fully extended, I began to poke him slowly upwards and he responded by gripping the glass with the strength of ten men so I being the impatient one, started to insist a little harder that he move. He then decided that I was close enough and attached himself to the handle and began his rather quick decent down the makeshift bridge toward me AGAIN.
I threw the broom down and jumped up on the bed watching him take shelter under a pile of my dirty laundry. I jumped down next to the door and exited the room to grab the fire poker I came in hot with the bug spray and the poker focused and ready for battle, I wasn't going to let this little butt-hole take over my room, it was getting dark and I was NOT going to sleep with him lurking somewhere plotting his inevitable revenge. I scattered the clothes around as he leaped from the pile towards me in his fighting stance, I parried with the poker and he scurried to the left, as he was in my sight I proceeded to drench him and the surrounding area in a thick white snow of poisonous critter getter foam.
I have to say, he fought valiantly. He probably deserved a more proper burial than a flush down the porcelain throne but I despise those eight-legged creatures and I shall show no mercy to any of their kind. For now, I sleep silently.
