The problem is that pi r ^2, and since in actuality, cake are squared and are lies we can draw the following conclusions:
Thread is round ∴ thread is pie ∴ thread r ^2 ∴ thread is cake ∴ thread is a lie ∴ thread does not actually exist ∴ thread cannot die, for it never was alive ∴ we are all figments of Wooty's imagination, posting in his Inception-styled dream world.
Because of this, we can further draw one final conclusion:
I have just posted, preventing this thread from dying for another moment of time.