Squeebz
Well-Known Member
Content warning: This blog will contain words like "Ovaries" and "Cycle" back away slowly if you can't take it.
A select few of you may remember that earlier this year I suffered a miscarriage of a little Birch sapling, sadly it just wasn't meant to be. After some visits to my OB GYN {Female Doctor- Ask your mothers that is not what I am here for} my suspicions that I have had for quite a while about my overall health [Down there] were confirmed, I had PCOS {Education incoming}. Now I don't have most of the common symptoms such as abnormal hair growth, cystic ovaries, or acne. I have however become an unfortunate victim of unexplained and rather sudden weight gain, Insulin Retention, uncontrollable mood-swings, and the simple lack of a normal regular cycle {Which is the only thing my body is responsible for when it comes to making saplings and it can't even do that right}.
Prior to my sudden weight gain and recent events, Godlib and I had just decided that we wanted a family and we stopped using contraceptive devices all together, nothing. Disappointment was definitely weighing heavy, and that is when my proactive mind started wandering and coming up with thousands of reasons, some simple and plausible, and others that would have made me look like a full fledged hypochondriac that did nothing but "Google" one symptom and rule it to be Brain Cancer. Once my symptoms started popping up I became more self aware {I had no choice but to become aware of having to go from shopping in the petite section to the plus size section} and started to piece together the puzzle. Alas, PCOS was the topic, I began to read simple articles to which one word kept rearing its ugly head; Infertility. Kill me now, I have pretty much accepted the fact that all I had left to be in this life was a Mother, I needed to be needed by someone other than my full grown husband-child thing. What next?
Stepping forward again, being faced with the possibility of having trouble conceiving was probably one of the hardest things I, personally have had to deal with. My Father is pretty "up there" in age and my biggest fear is him not being around to see his Grandchild[ren]. I could cry right now thinking about it, but it'll take me too long to write this if that happens. After some failed attempts from my first OB, treating me with Birth Control wasn't the best route. But I was prescribed Metformin, which is a drug used to treat Diabetes but has become one of the most effective treatments to help women with Insulin Resistance/Retention due to PCOS, it has already helped me drop weight and feel somewhat normal again. I returned to the Doctor, only to request a new OB, who is by far the best doctor I have ever had, he examines me and tells me that if I want kids, trying now is probably one of the best options I will have because later on down the road, things may be nearly impossible due to the damage that not having a regular cycle has and will continue to do towards doing any Reproducing.
So he prescribed me Chlomid, which is a Fertility drug that is used to stimulate Ovulation. {Basically Ovulation Induction}, and I have just taken my first of five pills in this round of treatment. Quite frankly I am going to say I have never been this nervous before in my entire life. I guess I wanted the option of just having to adjust because it just happened naturally. Because we now have to resort to "Mad Scientist" ways to create life we have had more time to think about what we are doing, it makes it more hard to be sure of yourself when you have all this time to think and wonder. We have wanted a family for so long now and finally it is happening and here I sit scared shit-less. Scared of a number of things; will this treatment work? how long will it take? am I ready to share the time I have with Godlib with a little squirmy version of us? The answer to that last question is an obvious yes but it still lingers there with all the time I have had to think about this.
I hate to bother and bore all of you with this "Girly-Nonsense" but this is the only place I visit where members actually pour their hearts out and not get bullshit in return. I felt the urge to type tonight so I went with it and this is what you're getting, a big blob of gross cootie info. {Don't worry they make shots for this, Talk to Vorsprung, he will have the information of the Clinic you need to visit} I guess the short version of this should be as follows, Godlib and I are resorting to Evil Mad Scientist ways to create little Birch Saplings and I am being a whiny bitch, wish us luck!
forever,
Squeebz
A select few of you may remember that earlier this year I suffered a miscarriage of a little Birch sapling, sadly it just wasn't meant to be. After some visits to my OB GYN {Female Doctor- Ask your mothers that is not what I am here for} my suspicions that I have had for quite a while about my overall health [Down there] were confirmed, I had PCOS {Education incoming}. Now I don't have most of the common symptoms such as abnormal hair growth, cystic ovaries, or acne. I have however become an unfortunate victim of unexplained and rather sudden weight gain, Insulin Retention, uncontrollable mood-swings, and the simple lack of a normal regular cycle {Which is the only thing my body is responsible for when it comes to making saplings and it can't even do that right}.
Prior to my sudden weight gain and recent events, Godlib and I had just decided that we wanted a family and we stopped using contraceptive devices all together, nothing. Disappointment was definitely weighing heavy, and that is when my proactive mind started wandering and coming up with thousands of reasons, some simple and plausible, and others that would have made me look like a full fledged hypochondriac that did nothing but "Google" one symptom and rule it to be Brain Cancer. Once my symptoms started popping up I became more self aware {I had no choice but to become aware of having to go from shopping in the petite section to the plus size section} and started to piece together the puzzle. Alas, PCOS was the topic, I began to read simple articles to which one word kept rearing its ugly head; Infertility. Kill me now, I have pretty much accepted the fact that all I had left to be in this life was a Mother, I needed to be needed by someone other than my full grown husband-child thing. What next?
Stepping forward again, being faced with the possibility of having trouble conceiving was probably one of the hardest things I, personally have had to deal with. My Father is pretty "up there" in age and my biggest fear is him not being around to see his Grandchild[ren]. I could cry right now thinking about it, but it'll take me too long to write this if that happens. After some failed attempts from my first OB, treating me with Birth Control wasn't the best route. But I was prescribed Metformin, which is a drug used to treat Diabetes but has become one of the most effective treatments to help women with Insulin Resistance/Retention due to PCOS, it has already helped me drop weight and feel somewhat normal again. I returned to the Doctor, only to request a new OB, who is by far the best doctor I have ever had, he examines me and tells me that if I want kids, trying now is probably one of the best options I will have because later on down the road, things may be nearly impossible due to the damage that not having a regular cycle has and will continue to do towards doing any Reproducing.
So he prescribed me Chlomid, which is a Fertility drug that is used to stimulate Ovulation. {Basically Ovulation Induction}, and I have just taken my first of five pills in this round of treatment. Quite frankly I am going to say I have never been this nervous before in my entire life. I guess I wanted the option of just having to adjust because it just happened naturally. Because we now have to resort to "Mad Scientist" ways to create life we have had more time to think about what we are doing, it makes it more hard to be sure of yourself when you have all this time to think and wonder. We have wanted a family for so long now and finally it is happening and here I sit scared shit-less. Scared of a number of things; will this treatment work? how long will it take? am I ready to share the time I have with Godlib with a little squirmy version of us? The answer to that last question is an obvious yes but it still lingers there with all the time I have had to think about this.
I hate to bother and bore all of you with this "Girly-Nonsense" but this is the only place I visit where members actually pour their hearts out and not get bullshit in return. I felt the urge to type tonight so I went with it and this is what you're getting, a big blob of gross cootie info. {Don't worry they make shots for this, Talk to Vorsprung, he will have the information of the Clinic you need to visit} I guess the short version of this should be as follows, Godlib and I are resorting to Evil Mad Scientist ways to create little Birch Saplings and I am being a whiny bitch, wish us luck!
forever, Squeebz
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