Religious Parents

xHallucinationx said:
I used to be a serious Catholic. (went to Catholic schools, church was an every other day thing, and I relied on "god" for everything). Why was I? My parents are both from Poland, basically where if you aren't Catholic, you're like a piece of shit. After I grew up a little bit, around the beginning of high school I found religion illogical and dumb. I told my parents I would no longer participate in religious activities and I was just going to be atheist. Boy were they mad, but after they saw how much I progressed in life not being held down by religion they accepted the fact I wasn't going to be their "perfect child".
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That actually sounds a bit cold. :p
 
Flaunty said:
So, today was probably the breaking point of my family's threshold of my position on being an Agnostic Theist. While driving in the car on from an appointment for a Doctor's visit, my father flares out into all an all caps rage because I did not want to go into conformation of the Catholic religion. I sat calmly, as he yelled and flaming me, going on about how I was going to hell and how I "f***ing dare to disgrace the (family) name". My mother on the other hand is cool with it, but she disowns me aswell.

So yeah. Anything I can do to help calm down the situation for upcoming years until I move out, or just let them rage on?
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3ucmp2


But in all seriousness, it is difficult for us to make suggestions to help your situation. Although I do not know how old you are, I am going to assume that you are in high school. No matter what happens, the one thing that you can't let fall are your grades. Try not to let the pressure from your parents and the difficult and tense situation at home impact other areas of your life.

Talk to your counselor at school. I say this to every person who comes here with problems/issues during middle school/high school, and I mean it every time. The counselors that your school provides are paid to help people in tricky situations. There is no reason to be afraid of them or nervous talking to them. They want to help you. That is why they chose that profession. They are sworn to confidentiality unless you are at risk of harming yourself or others, so you can tell them whatever you want. You can vent your anger and frustration, and they can probably give you some really good suggestions for how to move forward and handle the problem.

I already said this, but don't let the situation impact other areas of your life. COntinue to socialize, make friends, and strive to get good grades. Do not let this bog you down.
 
Godliberator said:
My dad is a Lutheran pastor, I went to the same small baptist private school from kindergarten through 12th grade, I would also consider myself to be agnostic. To this day though, my dad has no idea that I am agnostic because it is not worth the fight/debate that would ensue. I know exactly where you are coming from. Growing up, I was forced to go and do everything for the church and it was worse for me because my dad was the pastor and to be honest, was judged harshly if we ever missed a service or an activity, and because I was a minor, I could not say or do anything about it and it was just so much easier to just go along with it than to resist. Just because you go along with what your parents religious views are for the sake of peace does not mean that you have to believe a word of it. your parents are happy that you are making the motions and then you can do what I did. find a job that will keep you busy on Sunday. As much as I would have loved to be able to sit down with my parents and explain my thoughts and concerns about religion, they were just too set in their ways to even have a remotely calm conversation.

Best thing like I said, just go along with it, ask questions, learn as much as you can about all the religions while you are there....mostly because well you are there you may as well get something out of the deal...also it is fun to watch people squirm when you ask a question they don't know how to answer, and eventually, you will be an adult and out on your own and with the knowledge you gain, you will have a hell of a good time debating the religious nuts that come to your door trying to peddle their version of bullshit at you.

so to you I say, good luck, and have as much fun with it as possible, because it seriously only will get better, even though you have to lie to your parents about everything just to keep them from having a stroke because they are incapable of considering another religion.

Also as I say to so many others, my inbox is always open if you have any further questions, you guys know where to find me.
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Thanks, Liberator. It means a lot to take the perspective from someone who has been through the problems I'm currently having to deal with. And what you're proposing is something that I've already foresighted already, but I think my parents are probably going to cool down about me being Agnostic. They already know about my religious views, and they seem to burst out every once and then but I think they'll be okay if I just don't push meeting them on my side of religion because as you said, they're mostly set in their ways and do not take another religion into consideration, even though it's something most parents should do if they wish to guide their children in the right direction. But it's just the traditions they've grown up with, and it's hard to turn away from something they've known all of their life. I do heed your word, though. It's probably the same path I'm going to be taking in my religious future. Again, thank you for your advice. It gives me reassurance knowing that someone went through the same thing I'm experiencing at the moment. It means a lot.
 
Stratadon said:
3ucmp2


But in all seriousness, it is difficult for us to make suggestions to help your situation. Although I do not know how old you are, I am going to assume that you are in high school. No matter what happens, the one thing that you can't let fall are your grades. Try not to let the pressure from your parents and the difficult and tense situation at home impact other areas of your life.

Talk to your counselor at school. I say this to every person who comes here with problems/issues during middle school/high school, and I mean it every time. The counselors that your school provides are paid to help people in tricky situations. There is no reason to be afraid of them or nervous talking to them. They want to help you. That is why they chose that profession. They are sworn to confidentiality unless you are at risk of harming yourself or others, so you can tell them whatever you want. You can vent your anger and frustration, and they can probably give you some really good suggestions for how to move forward and handle the problem.

I already said this, but don't let the situation impact other areas of your life. COntinue to socialize, make friends, and strive to get good grades. Do not let this bog you down.
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Eh, I don't really think talking to a counselor will help at all. It'll just make me feel worse really, and if I tell them about the explicit things my parents say to me, it can be something that both me and my family can get into major trouble for. So it's something that we shouldn't get into with the schooling. Also, it doesn't really bother me as much as other teenagers do in their lives. It's just really annoying that every single time I refuse to go to church, or do something that's even the slightest hint of blasphemy, my parents go into an all caps rage. It's hard for them to understand my religious views, yes it's something I'm quite aware of, but I was hoping if anyone had any tips from letting them down easily, or finding some way to let them know my position on religion and help them understand. But recently, my father has been treating me like I'm possibly possessed or that I'm totally anti-christian. But I do apprieciate the tips you've given me, and I do thank you for help in the situation I've been dealing with and trying to process in my head. I am doing well, though don't let my words say otherwise. I can take care of myself so that I won't be miserable. xD
 
Vorsprung said:
Source: I'm a confirmed Catholic (but clearly that should be phrased as "was" or something)
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hehehehehehehehehehhheehh-ehhehh... Oh Myy, that explains it ALL.

but on the more serious side, I've found that Catholics (or hard-core Christians, in general) are very difficult to reason with. I didn't even mention my change from being a Catholic to a Deist with Buddhist/Pagan tendencies until after I went to college, where I was untethered from parental and religious influence. Don't get me wrong, there are some things within the Catholic faith that I agree with. Its just the negative influences of organized religious communities I am put off by. (used to be Catholic, guilty...)
 
MotorKat said:
hehehehehehehehehehhheehh-ehhehh... Oh Myy, that explains it ALL.

but on the more serious side, I've found that Catholics (or hard-core Christians, in general) are very difficult to reason with. I didn't even mention my change from being a Catholic to a Deist with Buddhist/Pagan tendencies until after I went to college, where I was untethered from parental and religious influence. Don't get me wrong, there are some things within the Catholic faith that I agree with. Its just the negative influences of organized religious communities I am put off by. (used to be Catholic, guilty...)
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GG :cool:
 
I only read your first post. I had to google what the fuck your shit was. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostic_theism

This is based on how i deal with stuff in my life.
What i suggest you do.

1. Drop it. NOT ONCE in my personal experience has anything having to to with having a religion or not having one has ever been discussed calmly ever when someones beliefs are stronger than their sense of acceptance of something different.

2. Problems are are dealt with in two ways. Work through it or cut it out of your life. both will be painful and suck when involving loved ones/friends/things of that nature. Life is too short for drama even when it happens.

It's 5am. maybe not the best time to post.
 
BracaBrad said:
I only read your first post. I had to google what the fuck your shit was. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostic_theism
This is how i deal with stuff in my life.
What i suggest you do.

1. Drop it. NOT ONCE in my personal experience has anything having to to with having a religion or not having one has ever been discussed calmly ever when someones beliefs are stronger than their sense of acceptance of something different.

2. Problems are are dealt with in two ways. Work through it or cut it out of your life. both will be painful and suck when involving loved ones/friends/things of that nature. Life is too short for drama even when it happens.

It's 5am. maybe not the best time to post.
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Thanks. And will do. I'm pretty sure I'll just cut it out of my life where I have to deal with my family because of it. Also, I don't come up to my parents and immediately tell them I'm Agnostic. They usually come to me asking me about it and wind up getting angry over what I say. So I'll be sure just to ignore it the next time they bring it up.
 
Riein said:
I'm a Baptist and I always find it so weird how many Christian turned Atheist are from the Catholic faith. Seriously what are Catholic people doing that causes this? From my point of view it seems to stem from the strictness in following that faith.
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I went from Baptist to Agnostic.
 
I was Christian and when my parents made me go to a Christian private school, I sorta became Atheist (I am now a Secualar Humanist), and my parents and I are at a breaking point of the same topic, confirmation. Just hang in there, try to get through it, I am
 
It's honestly not worth the fight, just play along for a few years until you are on your own, and this is coming from someone who is on the edge of being an anti-theist. enjoy the free crackers and wine (well catholic so transubstantiation so it's the ACTUAL BODY AND BLOOD of jesus)
 
By the time I was born, both my parents had long since abandoned the Christian faith. My sisters and I were raised Pagan. Our parents have always been accepting of our spiritual choices. I wish I could give you some advice, but all I can tell you is to stand by your beliefs and keep your head up. To me, family and the love we bear for them are holier than the church.
 
I guess I can consider myself lucky that my parents never did anything similar. They never once made me go to church, and I don't think they even brought up religion at all other than little tidbits where the subject would come up every now and then. Hopefully they will ease up on the subject or drop it completely. I don't think I could stand living with someone who wants to regulate my very thoughts and beliefs.

As for my own "religious" views, I'm definitely an Agnostic atheist.

Also, my grand view of things makes me somewhat of a Nihilist.
 
I was brought up in a home with parents who are...it's difficult to explain. I was never forced to go to church, the only real time we went to church was a year span between my ages of 12 and 13. I was raised Baptist Christian, and I do believe in God, but I have a more scientific view on reality. Right now, the only way I can explain it is a "God Jesus Intelligent design Old Earth Creation Evolution" horror baby. This can get rather annoying, with a mother asking me to explain 'Theories' on how things work, only to reduce everything I tell her to rubbish. One conversation on a 70 million year old beautiful Ammonite was reduced to an argument over whether or not the earth is 6000 years old, and whether or not Satan tricked humanity into believing the fossil records exists after he killed the dinosaurs when he fell to the earth from Heaven. (Yes, I'm serious. >_>) I've stopped having these conversations. It varies with the subject.

Homosexuality? Parents = It's a sin, bad, going to hell. Me = I don't really care, it's their life choice, free will and all that.

Interracial marriage? (This coming from a Southern - United States point of view) Parents = It's an abomination, they are poisoning themselves, white people are better! If you /ever/ date/marry a (insert other skin color beyond caucasian/nationality), you won't be welcome here. >_> Me = If you love someone/they love you, no matter the race or gender, you deserve to be happy with them.

Other religions? Parents = Why do they believe in all these gods, and worship those weird little statues? Me = ......Because they can? .-.

Yet with all of this, they can be open-minded one day, then the next, as closed-off as a pickle jar.

In all seriousness, it depends on how close-minded the parents are. Yours seem pretty boxed up. Don't try to change them, because you can't change people if they don't want to be. It doesn't matter what truth you teach, if the person isn't willing to listen, then it's as good a point as yelling at a brick wall. Just go along with what they want, but don't let them tell you what you should and shouldn't believe, until you can break free from them and live on your own.
 
Alyyiah said:
I was brought up in a home with parents who are...it's difficult to explain. I was never forced to go to church, the only real time we went to church was a year span between my ages of 12 and 13. I was raised Baptist Christian, and I do believe in God, but I have a more scientific view on reality. Right now, the only way I can explain it is a "God Jesus Intelligent design Old Earth Creation Evolution" horror baby. This can get rather annoying, with a mother asking me to explain 'Theories' on how things work, only to reduce everything I tell her to rubbish. One conversation on a 70 million year old beautiful Ammonite was reduced to an argument over whether or not the earth is 6000 years old, and whether or not Satan tricked humanity into believing the fossil records exists after he killed the dinosaurs when he fell to the earth from Heaven. (Yes, I'm serious. >_>) I've stopped having these conversations. It varies with the subject.

Homosexuality? Parents = It's a sin, bad, going to hell. Me = I don't really care, it's their life choice, free will and all that.

Interracial marriage? (This coming from a Southern - United States point of view) Parents = It's an abomination, they are poisoning themselves, white people are better! If you /ever/ date/marry a (insert other skin color beyond caucasian/nationality), you won't be welcome here. >_> Me = If you love someone/they love you, no matter the race or gender, you deserve to be happy with them.

Other religions? Parents = Why do they believe in all these gods, and worship those weird little statues? Me = ......Because they can? .-.

Yet with all of this, they can be open-minded one day, then the next, as closed-off as a pickle jar.

In all seriousness, it depends on how close-minded the parents are. Yours seem pretty boxed up. Don't try to change them, because you can't change people if they don't want to be. It doesn't matter what truth you teach, if the person isn't willing to listen, then it's as good a point as yelling at a brick wall. Just go along with what they want, but don't let them tell you what you should and shouldn't believe, until you can break free from them and live on your own.
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I'm not planning to. It's just the fact that my parents are about the same close minded as you've mentioned, even though they can be cool outside of the subject so we're always fine even if they know I don't believe in their own religion. It's only a major problem when they start getting out of hand and upset me by saying I'm pure shit if I don't completely agree with them.
 
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